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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?